The book above has been recently published and has caused a flurry of articles to be written agreeing or disagreeing with the writer. I found a recent artcile in Grazia that was distinctly masculine in its stance and found it very interesting.
The book, although I have not read it, apparently purports that men are more likely to be unfaithful towards their partner or wife because it is something inherent in them. The book suggests that unfaithfulness does not mean that they love their partner less. This is the summary used as a basis for the article in Grazia, so I apologise if anyone has read the book fully and I have misinterpreted the overall message.
I find this extremely interesting. I have always thought that I am extremely lucky in that my husband seems the complete opposite to what this article suggests is 'normal' in men. I know I might be extremely naive in that I believe and trust my husband completely, but having known him for nearly 10 years, I have no reason to doubt his opinion, actions and words. Whenever he has got in a compromising or flirty situation with friends, he is always the first to tell me and relay how he dealt with the situation. He gets more propositions than I do, anyway! He is very aware of limits and what is professional and has a very clear idea of what is right and wrong. He is my inspiration in many ways; I have limited willpower (just ask my gym!) and he keeps me on track without being controlling or father-like. I know I am extremely naive and he advises me many times. I like to think I help him to be more compassionate and understanding towards others. I suppose these are the differences between men and women, generally speaking of course (you know how I hate labels!).
What interests me in this article is the inherent attitude that women don't like or need sex anymore than men; that men always need to initiate and that after marriage of a few years it goes cold. After conversations in the staff room and as well as with other friends, this is far from the case! More women now are admitting to having issues with porn readily available on the internet and this is no longer considered an issue just for men. The assumption that men suffer with this alone is ludicrous and probably stems from the idea that women are busier with the household and less likely to admit to issues to other men. This male writer in the article explained that he did love his wife and felt incredible guilt at betraying her with other women. He definitely didn't want to leave his wife or break up his family (he had children) but he also accepted that his sexual needs weren't being met and his situation would need to continue.
I love that love is always described as a feeling; something that we can't control and not based on thoughts at all. The initial feeling of warmth and fuzziness is great but that isn't love. I love Jonathan much more now than I ever did when I first said it, nearly nine years ago. I get more fuzziness now, I feel such overwhelming love for him because of what we have gone through together and what is yet to come. I know I will be with him forever and that is an incredible feeling. That feeling makes you put the effort in when things are tough; helps you to realise what life would be like alone and helps you to forgive more easily.
If the writer of this article really loved his wife, he wouldn't act that way. Simple as that really.
