The real church

I have just finished reading Prayer by Philip Yancey and I couldn't recommend this book enough. In the last few chapters he discusses unanswered prayer and how we should pray and I came across this quotation from Carlo Caretta from his book Letters from the Desert. He writes:

"For many years I had thought I was 'somebody' in the church. I had even imagined this sacred living structure of the church as a temple sustained by many columns, large and small, each one with the shoulder of a Christian under it. My own shoulder too I thought of as supporting a column, however small... There was never enough time to get everything done. One raced continually from one project to another, from one meeting to another, from one city to another. Prayers were hurried, conversations frenzied, and one's heart in a turmoil."

When he was praying on a beach one day, he realised:

"I drew back suddenly, as though to free myself from this weight. What had happened? Everything remained in its place, motionless. Not a movement, not a sound. After twenty five years I had realised that nothing was burdening my shoulders and that the column was my own creation - sham, unreal, the product of my imagination and my vanity... the weight of the world was all on Christ crucified."

When reading this I remembered this kind of half-dream that I have had off and on over the last few years when I'm not quite asleep. I kept seeing columns and whenever I have this image it feels me with anxiety. I've come to realise this occurs when I feel stressed and thankfully haven't had the feeling for quite a while. This passage made me realise that I have been seeing myself in the completely wrong light: of that of a 'Christian worker' helping others in the church when no one else seems to; keeping myself busy with tasks in the church without praying regularly. God has taught me this in many ways over the years and although I always want to be busy for God, I don't want it to take over my life so much that I forget why and for whom I do it.

Christ has made the ultimate sacrifice so we don't have to, we shouldn't be trying to hold up the church or convincing ourselves we're important 'pillars' in the community; we are secure in Christ.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

I have been reading a superb book by Michael Mayne entitled 'Learning to Dance'. It is set out in chapters for each month and describes the season changes in the world around us, linked to the the season changes in our life journeys: forgiveness, love, pain, faith, nature, science etc.

In the chapter entitled 'The Dance of Love' he writes how love leaves a mark and he quotes a passage out of 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone':

"Why couldn't Quirrell touch me?"
"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is  love... Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a visible sign... (but) to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give some protection for ever... It was agony for Quirrell, full of hatred, greed and ambition... to touch a person marked by something so good."

Michael Mayne links this with how love can often cost us: time, money and pain - but he doesn't link it with Christ's love for us. To me this passage really highlights what Christ has done for us.

When we were still far off, you met us in your Son and brought us home...

Because we are so loved by God, because Jesus died for us, we now have this protection; we are marked and changed by something so good, that we can never be the same :)

Healing

I've been able to sit in on a couple of meetings with a Christian friend and a Jehovah's Witness a couple of times now and the topic we discussed today was healing.

I believe God can and does heal others today: physically, mentally and spiritually and often we don't get the healing we expected. Interestingly, the Jehovah's Witness we spoke to (and I presume this is the same for all) believes that Jesus had the power to heal and perform miracles and He gave this ability to His direct followers to spread the gospel and build the early church; but they don't believe we can heal today. They also think the gifts that Paul mentions in 1 Corinthians: prophecy, speaking in tongues etc are irrelevant and unnecessary today.

I found this quite challenging because being quite egocentric I had just assumed that we Christians are considered Jesus' followers, just like his disciples! I still believe this but was definitely challenged by a few verses which show Jesus warning against false prophets/followers who would be able to heal in Jesus' name:

Matthew 7: 21-23:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers.'"

How can we tell that those who heal in Jesus' name are authentic Christians?

I suppose the crunch comes when they die - they will tell Jesus they did these miraculous healings in His name and He will say He never knew them. I suppose there will be many who use Jesus' name but have no real knowledge of Him and no relationship; that use His name for evil purposes.I think, when we heal in Jesus' name we need to ensure we are doing it with correct motives and with real knowledge of the one who brings true healing.

Experience v Knowledge

I have struggled with this for a while now but have had no answers! I've been a Christian since I was 8 and remember talking to God with what I can only describe as a child-like faith. I love reading about God and love gaining knowledge in different areas of Christianity and in many ways I consider this worship; but I really feel that I lack that 'heart' knowledge. I know Jesus is alive and the facts all make sense but I rarely, if at all, have that experience of God that many talk about. I love reading the Bible but find prayer more difficult despite talking to God for ages when I was a kid. If only I could get that child-like quality back.
I know I need to spend more time in quiet prayer; listening rather than talking but I'm finding this increasingly difficult when my mind keeps wandering and I do too much. In typical Kelly fashion I have even read a book on listening to God - but can I do it? No!
What do people mean when they say they know Jesus is alive because they had a conversation with Him this morning?! Am I missing something or has God been talking to me all along? I believe that God does talk to me through sermons, the books I read, the Bible and people I meet and talk to but is this all there is?
Answers on a postcard please...

Coincidences

In church this morning, I was really struck by how God has used so many different people and circumstances, in my life and that of people around me, to bring us closer to God. He really is amazing!
I started going to my current church, Holy Trinity Sittingbourne, nearly 4 years ago now and on my first day there I met someone that would become a lovely friend, Cathy, who had left that church but had decided to come back that day - coincidence? I think not...
Recently, a guy that went to my university church for three years, just after I left and who knows many of my really close friends from that church, decided to move to Sittingbourne and attend the same church, with no knowledge of me or our joint history - coincidence? I think not...
A friend from one of my last jobs as a teacher, attended Alpha last year and became a Christian; she was recently confirmed. She has been hoping to get her four daughters to come to our church and while she has been in Turkey with her husband, they have attended church this morning because one of them works with another member of the church! A coincidence? Well I think you get my point!
I have come to the conclusion that God places so many people in our lives at different times and we never know who or how we are going to influence them but it is so important to live life continually aware of this. God uses all of our situations and experiences for the good of His kingdom. I'm sure many of you would have realised this a lot sooner than I did and I think I've always known this on some level but it just really hit me today.
Someone once said that it takes on average fourteen incidents for someone to turn to Christ and to hear the good news. We are all part of those times for many people without thinking about it - how amazing is that?!

A Monkey's Orientation

Just finished this book which I bought at LSE New Wine and have to say, though it is geared towards new, younger Christians, it was really useful. I have always been a bit of a performing monkey rather than really understanding the grace of God and it has taught me that once we are secure in God's identity in us, we can then know what our calling is and what it really means to be holy.

I love the stories in this book and it is quite funny for a book on holiness! It is very easy to understand and explains the Jewish side of many of the parables of Jesus, very well. I didn't realise that what Jesus was doing for Peter in John 21 was a version of Mitzvah (an act for forgiveness) and that Jesus' death on the cross was the ultimate Mitzvah.

Introduction

I'm a Christian living in Kent and as the title suggests I'm a 20-something! I'm a primary school teacher and have a lot of time on my hands at this time of year so thought I'd start a blog with my musings...

I've just come back from LSE New Wine and being a New Wine first timer, I have to say I really enjoyed it despite not being a camping enthusiast. I think I had the smallest tent in the whole site but I was definitely warm most nights! I went with my local church but travelled on my own which was lonely and I have learnt that I'm not the greatest on my own - I think too much.

The seminars were fantastic though and I really enjoyed the worship and talks in the morning and evening. I went to Venue 2 for most of these, and the music was what I was most used to. I was much more able to 'let go' and not worry so much; more able to worship with happy abandonment rather than constantly wondering what people think. The talks were limited in many ways but were often what I believe the crowd, including me, needed at those times. The host of Venue 2 was St. Mary's church in London and many of the speakers and worship leaders came from that church. They are an 'up and coming' church which has planted many others and have helped many 20-30s feel at home in a church.

Being a part of that age group I think this has challenged me most over New Wine week - why are so many 20-30s leaving church or not bothering to enquire of it? What made me come back after a brief spell out of a church? Do our churches provide enough support and guidance for this age group? Trawling the internet about this topic I've come to the conclusion that many churches are unsure how to develop in this area. Having been to my church for three years now I'm very glad to suddenly see a rise in people in my age group and have been aware that I have been put with older Christians in groups before, as I'm married and quite sensible!

The church I left after university (St. Mike's, Aberystwyth, Wales) was massive and catered for all age groups, especially students. Finding a church similar to this was always going to be tough and I know all churches are different. Speaking to someone I've recently met at my current church, I was saddened to hear him say that there is nothing for 20 somethings in the area - and by implication the church.

So, as I've come back from New Wine with the feeling I should be doing more and feeling down because I'm not the type to create new things; I've decided this in particular needs to change. Any ideas are more than welcome!